Church
by blueowls
Summary: Brittany x Santana, Quinn and family. //She gets a couple of dirty texts in before there's a hand slamming down on the bible and, consequently, her phone and her lap.//


**Author Note: **Quinn brings Brittany to church and instead of listening, she opens the bible and skims through, finding a particular verse ((NIV, Galatians 5:19-21)). "Did you know the word orgy is in the bible?"

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**Church**

Quinn glances at her out of the corner of her eye almost constantly, like she's expecting Brittany to jump up and make a scene or argue with the priest—or is he a pastor? Brittany lets out a sigh before crossing her legs and folding her hands over her lap, imitating Quinn, and it gets a pleased smile out of Mrs. Fabray and a stiff nod from Quinn before all the attention is back on the man at the front of the church.

Staying over Quinn's house on Saturday nights—now a much less frequent event considering Santana _hadn't_ freaked when Brittany had pressed a decidedly not platonic kiss to her cheek—always meant church the next morning. And today was especially awkward since Quinn had started catching on, however slowly, and looked through her phone to find an unsubtle sext from Santana.

Things got icy quick, and since Santana wasn't Christian—or was it Protestant?—Quinn had decided to drag Brittany to church. Even Brittany had to admit it was probably the safer choice. She could almost see Santana slumped next to her in the pew, chewing gum with her arms crossed and sneaking her phone out of her pocket.

Brittany flips absentmindedly through the bible that Quinn had thrust at her at the beginning of the service and she pretends to show an interest in some story about Galatians. It's enough to get Quinn off her back, and the other girl stops babysitting her and delves into her own bible, reading along with the pastor. Victorious, Brittany discreetly slides her phone out from under her thigh and holds it under the bible, looking up quickly and scanning the rows of bowed heads before opening a text from Santana.

She gets a couple of dirty texts in before there's a hand slamming down on the bible and, consequently, her phone and her lap. Brittany gets a glimpse of the 'sent text' icon before Quinn takes her phone away, glaring at her, and Brittany bites her lip and looks down at the book, but only because she was in the middle of a sext and Santana's going to bitch about dropping her right when things started to get hot and heavy. Since there's really nothing else to do except actually _listen_ to the pastor or stare off into space—which is kind of ruined because Quinn's prodding her in the side and probably thinking she's imaging inappropriate things—Brittany starts reading the Galatians story again. She briefly wonders how Quinn knew she was texting because she's good enough to evade Scheuster in Spanish, but as she reads more, she realizes that maybe all the smiling she was doing was a big red flag.

Halfway through the story, she's hopelessly confused because she was almost certain Gallatin had something to do with NYU, because Rachel never stops talking about it. Whoever edited this thing definitely didn't have a spellchecker. Brittany keeps reading almost reluctantly, and a particular word in the middle of the story catches her attention, but Quinn takes the bible away from her out of the blue and the service ends soon after.

---

"Did you know the word _orgy_ is in the bible?"

Santana stops running her fingers through her hair and goes still behind her. Brittany reaches down to dig into her bag, and Santana's hands circle her waist as she draws a black book out and sits back up. She opens it and holds it up so that Santana can see it, tapping insistently at a word about halfway down the page.

"What the hell are you doing with a bible?"

"Don't curse, S. I'm holding a bible."

Santana sighs heavily before leaning forward, her chin digging into Brittany's shoulder as she loops her arms around her waist. "Fine. What are you doing with a bible?"

"Quinn gave it to me," Brittany says without further explanation. Santana sighs behind her again.

"Why?"

"She made me go to church with her on Sunday."

Santana makes a vaguely disgusted noise behind her and resumes playing with her hair. There's bobby pins digging into her scalp and Brittany winces as she continues.

"It was because of a sext she saw."

"I told you to delete those after you read them," Santana says, words mumbled because she's got two barrettes held between her lips, but there's no anger to it. In fact, she almost sounds kind of proud, like Quinn stumbling onto a sign of their relationship is a big F.U. to her. Pissing Quinn off _has_ always been one of Santana's favorite past times.

"So what about this orgy?" Santana prompts, pressing a kiss to the back of her neck before telling her to look in the mirror. Brittany twists around to look in the mirror but doesn't move, raising a brow at her reflection. Santana's piled most of her hair on top of her head in some sort of messy half-bun, and it doesn't look too bad. It's a shame that Coach Sylvester never lets the Cheerios wear their hair down.

"Something about Galatians having an orgy," Brittany shrugs carelessly as she slides off the bed, only to sit behind Santana and let her ponytail down. It earns a contented sigh from the other girl, and Brittany toys with a curl, letting it spring out of her grip before curling it around a finger again. "I dunno. I wasn't really paying attention."

"Are you going to her place again on Saturday?" Santana asks casually, and Brittany bows her head, hiding a smile in Santana's thick hair.

"I was kind of hoping we could hang out," she mumbles, mouth sliding down to Santana's ear. Santana turns to look at her abruptly and then Brittany's mouth goes from being next to her ear to hovering just over her lips. There's a pause that would be awkward if it were anybody else before Brittany tilts her head and presses forward, kissing Santana.

It's quick and chaste, because Santana pulls away and announces, "I want to go with you."

"To church?" Brittany scoffs, and she almost asks if Santana's joking, but Santana's not laughing. "With Quinn? S, _no_."

"Don't worry. I'll make it interesting," Santana smirks before flicking her scrunchie at the ceiling, and Brittany feels distinctly uneasy. She's never been one to test Quinn's boundaries, and with the sexts and last Sunday combined, she's not sure if Santana's plan is such a good idea.

"Santana, what are you going to do?"

"You'll see."

---

Brittany stifles a yawn, eyes watering as she tries to pay attention to the same man in the same church making what sounds suspiciously like the same speech as last Sunday. Santana nudges her conspiratorially, and she smiles before Quinn jabs her other arm.

"Pay attention," she hisses in her ear, and Brittany nods wordlessly. The front pew's already tiny, but with Mr. and Mrs. Fabray, Quinn, her, and Santana, it's positively cramped. She's been on edge since the service first started, remembering what Santana said about making things interesting, and it didn't help that Quinn had been hovering over them the entire time during the sleepover the night before.

Brittany's so bored she considers opening another bible and seeing what new dirty word she can find, but Santana coughs beside her and gets up. She'd been squirming for the past five minutes, and she taps Brittany's shoulder as she smiles and slides past Quinn. Quinn's furious and looks like only the fact that they're in a church and surrounded by other parishioners keeps her from sticking her foot out and tripping Santana.

"Bathroom," Santana says breezily as Mrs. Fabray frowns and shrinks back to let her past. Brittany gets up and follows Santana, who's slid past Mr. Fabray and waits unabashedly in the middle of the aisle for her.

"Gotta show her where it is," Brittany whispers apologetically to Quinn, having caught on to Santana's plan quickly. Quinn glares at her, but it's a legitimate-sounding excuse and anyway, it's not like she can order them back in front of her parents. She may not like what they're doing, but she's not going to let anyone else know what's going on. They're still Cheerios, and any black mark on them could bring her down, too.

Brittany steps over Mr. Fabray's shoes before she pushes a grinning Santana out of her way and they head toward the back of the church to the double-doors and the hallway outside. Halfway down the aisle, Santana holds out her hand in front of all of Lima, and Brittany takes it.


End file.
